Trump Family New Year’s Resolutions

by Lindsey Mutz


  • Pardon the next hurricane
  • Good ratings for the Fake News Media Awards
  • Find new group of people to insult
  • KFC
  • Bigger button


  • Don’t run away
  • Change bedroom door locks periodically
  • Scarier Christmas decorations
  • More convincing body double
  • Get moving on that cyber bullying campaign


  • New Nordstrom line
  • Sit in on as many classified meetings as possible
  • Feminist stuff


  • Keep moving on that peace in the middle east thing

Donald Jr.

  • Less tweeting out emails
  • More hair grease
  • Kill another big animal, maybe an elephant this time!


  • Strengthen relationship with father
  • Create more deep state conspiracies
  • Drink more water


  • Graduate from law school
  • Get Dad to answer my phone calls
  • Get into the family business of colluding
  • Tour of White House?



Finished Image via Us Weekly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close